Marbleous: Life Is Messy, Let’s Talk About It

I was supposed to be in Oaxaca with my family this month. The flights were booked. Reservations confirmed.

But life had other plans.

Plans that included multiple doctor appointments, cancer screening tests, and an honest reckoning with my relationship to vulnerability, uncertainty, and change.

Just days after finalizing the trip in June, my health became unstable. It started with a longer-than-usual period and intense menstrual cramps. It’s just perimenopause, I told myself.

A week later, I woke up in the middle of the night, gripped by anxiety and worry. It’s just my nervous system reacting to old trauma, I reasoned.

Then came the fatigue. Nausea. Dizziness. Indigestion. More pain. More bleeding. Finally, I pulled my husband aside and said, Something’s not right.

Intuitively, I knew my body was saying no to traveling—but I didn’t know why. And I wanted answers. I wanted a reason I could name, something concrete to justify canceling the trip, losing money on flights, disappointing my kids, and altering our summer.

I needed more than a feeling. I needed proof that my intuition was “right,” that I was making a “good” decision.

But that’s not how intuition works.

It can’t be forced. It won’t perform on demand. It operates from truth, not urgency.

And so, I set down my agenda. I softened my grip on needing to know everything all at once. And I let myself lean into the learning.

These are the lessons that are coming through:

Healing isn’t linear. The body has its own rhythm, its own way of processing experiences, past and present, emotional and other. I trust its wisdom and honor its needs.

I can’t always protect my kids—or myself—from disappointment. Things shift. Plans come undone. And it’s okay to feel what we feel.

My worth isn’t measured by how much I do or how many places I travel to. Even in stillness, I am enough.

Life is precious and unpredictable. Nothing is guaranteed, and anything is possible. Abundance lives in the unknown.

This is where I am right now—loosening the need for certainty, honoring the wisdom of my body, finding the right support for my health, and letting life be what it is: tender, messy, and full of deeper meaning.

If you’re in a season of unknowns too, I’m right there beside you. Life is messy, let’s talk about it.

Jessica

This post is from my new Substack called Marbleous—it’s a space for honest conversations about the tender, messy, often unspoken parts of life we’re all still figuring out. The patterns we return to—again and again—to heal, grow, create, and rediscover who we are and why we’re here.

My hope is that Marbleous becomes a place to honor the magic in the mess—or at least remember that we’re all sensitive, creative humans doing our best. I’m grateful to be on this journey with you.

If you’d like to read more posts like this, please join at the link below. xo